The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the SkullAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. But those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).
B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .
When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good Read Full Report sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!