The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready too).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to very hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong my response and involuntary , leading to powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .
However when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Numerous gay males wish to find out from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".
However, North includes, "I suspect company website this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!