The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be excellent as well).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, love, well-being, and nearness .
When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry go to this site North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".
Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry look here is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.
Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!