The Sexuality Pitfall, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the SkullAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries enormous significance and effects.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to incredibly tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , leading to effective feelings of attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .
When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay men especially in metropolitan areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sex. Lots of gay males desire to discover out from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".
Nonetheless, North adds, "I presume this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to view publisher site mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!