The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the MindAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries immense significance and consequences.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, well-being, and closeness .
When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay guys specifically visit the website in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with common sense. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!