The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the MindAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, making love carries immense meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).
B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of attraction, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .
When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They most likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".
Nevertheless, North includes, "I presume this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting useful site sparks!