The Sex Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the BrainAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:
A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).
B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts web on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .
When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is learn the facts here now a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".
North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!