The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good also).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , causing effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, wellness, closeness, and love .
When problems arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical a knockout post compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who visit our website works primarily with gay guys, says that many of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.
" For gay men particularly in cities, sex is easily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Lots of gay males wish to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure. see this site
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with common sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!