The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, making love carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:
A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).
B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus published here to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .
When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Resources Trap.
" For gay men particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".
Nonetheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow in time.
Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits. pop over to this web-site
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!