The Sensuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the HeadAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.
Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be great as well).
B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the look at these guys chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.
These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , leading to effective sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .
But when problems arise, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.
" a knockout post For gay guys specifically in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, encourages sex. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, lots of gay men want to discover out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".
Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.
When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!