The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the CraniumAs I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."
The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.
Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:
A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).
B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.
No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel very close to and bonded with our important source sex partner.
These chemical reactions are involuntary Continued and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .
When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They probably would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.
Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, says that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.
" For gay males particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that read this post here in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".
Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.
When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.
To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!